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(  _________________________________________  )
( /  "Are those cocktail-waitress           \ )
( | fingernail marks?" I asked Colletti as  | )
( | he showed us these scratches on his     | )
( | chest. "No, those are on my back,"      | )
( | Colletti answered. "This is where a     | )
( | case of cocktail shrimp fell on me. I   | )
( | told her to slow down a little, but you | )
( | know cocktail waitresses, they seem to  | )
( | have a mind of their own." -- The       | )
( | Incredibly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting     | )
( | Summer of O.C. and Stiggs               | )
( |                                         | )
( \ National Lampoon, October 1982          / )
(  -----------------------------------------  )
(         \   ^__^                            )
(          \  (oo)\_______                    )
(             (__)\       )\/\                )
(                 ||----w |                   )
(                 ||     ||                   )
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        o   ^__^
         o  (==)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
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